Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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