The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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