Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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