he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
