i may or may not be watching the land before time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They have beer where we have blood.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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