we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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