How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
