Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
