he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
