There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
