YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
