My hand turned me down
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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