I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
