Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
