I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
