Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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