I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
