How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
