wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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