that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
