There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
