your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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