You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize