I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
