drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
