I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
