he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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