I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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