...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
