And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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