Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
