Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
