margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
