You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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