There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
