I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
