i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
