4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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