Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
