so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
