My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
