My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
