white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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