just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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