party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
