I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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