just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
PANTIES FOUND
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