Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
