How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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