capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
