people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I party with great urgency now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
