the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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