How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
