You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my being single is dangerous.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize