At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well you can't waste a boner
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
