she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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