I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
