im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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