11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
