there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize