but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
