Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
