it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
