I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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